Today I found my first snail of the season. Nooooooooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Tracey and I (Tamara) were at Southsea Green, the community garden at Canoe Lake, where Pompey Green Party have a veg plot.  I was attempting to rescue some very sad-looking broad beans and enjoying pottering around in the sunshine contemplating my navel, while Tracey, infected with the spring season, cleared up winter detritus.

And there it was, slithering all over the broad beans, waving its tentacles in slimy delight…mocking me, daring me. I refuse to be intimidated by this threat that, quite literally, lacks a backbone. I did the only thing possible in the face of such defiance. I eyeballed it, plucked it from its unauthorised brunch and lobbed it over the fence. As it sailed majestically through the air, I could hear it calling, ‘I’ll be baaaaccckkkkkkk.’

https://www.instagram.com/p/Be01MfVDV8W/?taken-by=pompeygreens

 

Disclaimer: I am not a gardener or a scientist.  At least once a year, I desperately turn to the internet hive-mind for earth-friendly, chemical-free, organic solutions that ideally don’t involve snail murder. These are a handful of recommendations that stick in my mind which may or may not be urban (gardener) myths  – haha, did you see what I did there?!

So, here are my lazy-girl suggestions for eco-friendly slug and snail repellants that may or may not be effective!

Crushed Egg Shells:

I scatter crushed eggshells on the veg plot and in my garden and that my friends, is basically it! The idea is that it acts as a barrier deterrent and as a bonus, the eggshells add nutrients to the soil. Bonus – as I eat a lot of eggs, it is free!

Coffee Grounds:

When I am at Palmerston Road, I always collect a (free) bag of used coffee grounds from Coffee #1. My hubby also loves ‘proper’ coffee on weekends, so there is never a shortage in my household. As with the eggshells, I scatter the used coffee grounds around like environmental confetti and let it do its thing. It also doubles as a fertilizer and can also go in the compost.

Nematodes:

I invested in a 24 week-course of Nemaslug (nematodes) last summer. The application process is more involved than chucking coffee grounds onto the soil but apparently, it is more likely to actually work.  Nematodes are microscopic worms and a slugs worst nightmare and an organic gardeners dream. Lazy girl bonus – they post the nematodes to you. Lazy girl fail – I still have 2 of the four packs in my fridge from last summer.

Beer Traps:

I have tried laying out beer traps a few times and am just too grossed out by having to dispose of stinky slug corpses. Unrelated to the beer traps, last year I plucked a load of slugs and put them in a plastic bag to dispose of.  I promptly forgot about it and when I found it….it turns my stomach just thinking about it. If I were more on the ball, I think I could dispose of the dead slugs in my compost bin, but I don’t even like touching them. Sigh, I guess I just need to (wo)man up!

Copper Tape:

When I first started growing veg for my local slug and snails enjoyment, I tried copper tape around pots as a barrier deterrent. I was a complete beginner and I didn’t have much luck with gardening in general (some things never change!), so my lack of success was probably more to do with this than a failure of the copper tape.

Wool Pellets:

Around the same time as my foray into copper tape, I also tried using wool pellets. The fibres act as a deterrent as they are supposed to be uncomfortable for the snails and slugs to crawl over. The wool also doubles up as mulch and a weed suppressant. I dunno if it was effective, but I didn’t like the smell. Recently, I had some food delivered and it was insulated with wool liners. As my cat turned her nose up at her pure wool mat,  I’m gonna try using it in the garden instead.

Moonlit Hunt:

Forget going on a bear hunt, instead, why not grab your torch and head outside to hunt slugs and snails by moonlight. Ahhhh, how romantic!

 

Sling-Shot Sid:

And finally, just to be safe, I suggest you practice your sling-shot aim for the new Olympic sport ‘Snail Shot-Put’! The homing instinct is strong with this one, they need to travel at least 20 metres from their home patch, otherwise, they will be ‘baaaaccckkkkkkk.’

 

So dear reader, have you waged and won the war against these slimy soldiers? Let us know your hints and tips in the Comments section.

Please, I beg you….my sanity and summer depends on it!