I am late with this blog post. Not because I (Tamara) have been out saving the world one green action at a time. Not because I have been protesting at the appalling treatment of refugees by the Home Office. Not because I have been writing strongly worded letters (emails) to my MP about a myriad of troubles I wish him to right. Not because I have been making my own wrapping paper out of cow dung or creating home-made Xmas gifts with my own fair (brown) hands. Nope. None of the above.
I am late with this blog post because I don’t want to admit to you, Dear Reader, that I haven’t been living a very green or activist life lately. I would say I’ve been doing the bare minimum but that sets the bar too high. I’ve just kinda been here. In my life. Trying not to freak out, trying to get outside and get natural light into my eyeballs, trying to keep depression at bay, trying to exercise, trying to stay connected, trying not to face plant into a tin of shortbread biscuits (too late).
I am late with this blog post because to admit this is to acknowledge being green isn’t always easy. Especially at Christmas in a pandemic.
Being green, being an activist takes up brain space and energy that I don’t readily have right now. But even as I type those words, my brain has started listing ways that I have been green at Christmas in a pandemic.
Listing ‘The Little Things’ List:
I bought mulled wine spices from The Package Free Larder and Fairtrade red wine from my local corner shop Coop. I bought cheese from The Ethical Dairy – produced from organic milk where calves are kept with their mothers to suckle (ok fine, my partner the Dutchman did this one but I’m including it in this flashback of achievements.) I bought books from local independent booksellers Pigeon Books. I bought gifts from independent traders at the We Create Market, a pop-up indoor market at the old Debenhams on Palmerston Road.
£$ I am realising most of my green achievements are consumerist but hey, putting my money where my mouth is! £$
I bought the most amazing bee boobie jugs from The Beehive made by BoobieBu, intended as gifts and kept for myself, thereby forcing me to buy further gifts from BoobieBu.
I bought Happy Birthday bunting from Leather Heather and put up glass balloons to decorate and celebrate the birthday of a young person who is currently in my care. I made a raspberry cheesecake for his 18th from scratch and remembered to get Fairtrade chocolate and to check the biscuits were palm-oil free.
I ate the meat my mother provided and cooked for our Christmas Eve meal, knowing it was not free-range and enjoying it anyway. I delivered a Christmas hamper as a volunteer for Community First who usually host a Christmas Day meal for 100 guests and instead this year, provided each of those guests with a hamper delivered to their doorstep on Christmas Day with a Christmas meal and gifts.
I am late with this post because I told myself all the above doesn’t count because I am not being an amazing environmentalist and changing the world. I am not saving people. I am not standing up for the vulnerable and voiceless.
I am an idiot. What I have been doing does count.
But I am here now.
Because this is the whole point of this blog: we do what we can, when we can.
We juggle the balls and when we cannot due to lack of energy, caring responsibilities, overwhelm, job loss, grief, mental health challenges, whatever the reason – the ball is picked up by someone else who does have that brain space and energy. So rather than feeling shitty for not being the picture-perfect Instagram-worthy eco-activist, I am thankful for all those who shout the shout, walk the walk and fight the fight when I cannot.
P.S. I am also late with this blog because F*2020.